i have my issues

Number 1
Orang yang parking kereta tak betul ikut suka mak pak tok nek hang ja.

Like yesterday. I was looking for a space kan, nampak la this one parking bay, the bay patutnya muat 3 kereta, tapi sebab this satu kereta yang terlebih pandai taik kucing, satu bay untuk dia sorang je, banyak cantik muka kau. Habis muka aku ni?

Number 2
Restaurant yang tak terima kredit or debit kad.

Like yesterday. I went to Malaysian Hall pi makan with Mama, sekali nak bayar tak boleh pakai kad. Sebab? Takde facility, hek elehhh.

Number 3
Orang yang letak kaki dengan bag dengan segala jenis harta benda dia atas seat train orang lain tak boleh duduk.

Like yesterday jugak. Ada this one couple, siap dengan travel bag shopping bag pelbagai, dah la dua orang je, kerusi depan pon kau nak guna jugak. Orang lain nak duduk mana lepas tu? Atas riba awak?

Number 4
Pegi tengok wayang or shopping masa peak hours.

Tolong la somebody pls explain huraikan kenapa it is a good idea to catch a movie or pegi shopping during peak hours. Cakap, KENAPA KENAPA KENAPA.

Number 5
Orang yang tak cakap bye lepas chat, be it ym or face to face or on the phone.

Macam tergantung gantung je percakapan.

Hi, bla bla bla bla.
Bla bla bla?
Bla bla bla bla bla blaaa bla bla.
Blablabla blaaa bla.
...
Bla?
.......
Bla?? Blaaa?

You see what I mean? You see? Takde closure, faham?

Number 6
Orang yang amik perfume orang lain buat harta lepas tu buat bodoh.

Jahat kan? Jahat gila. I dont like you.

oh la la

I am still waiting in case you've forgotten.

bold ah?

I do not like sepupu jahat. We don't like sepupu jahat. Siapa suka sepupu jahat, angkat tangan.

Ha.
No one does.

In my tokjah's family unfortunately, there are 5 sepupu jahat, short form spj. Want one? Two? Three? ALL? Amik amik. Tak kisah punya.

But really ah, I advise you not ah. Even sepupu baik yg jahat pon not as jahat as sepupu jahat yang jahat.

Their knack?
Drive you up the wall crazy. Well, either you or your life, but usually, when they got to you, they'd get to your life.

The first two are, well, living in their own caccoon like nobody's business macam orang lain tak penting.

Eh sebenarnya kalau pantau balik, lima2 macam tu, sifat teras kot.

Ada yang konon Mr tough guy kena rogol, Mr konon I'm so pandai knows-it-all eh ayah turun bawah la bukak buku cepat cepat cepat, Ms amik barang orang tak bagitahu merangkap Ms curi perfume pastu delete comment haa tahu takut malu, Ms konon I'm a kakak yang baik tauu you all I amik tahu semua hal ehwal dalaman luaran adik2 kesayangan I, dan bermacam macam konon lagi lah.

Ehhh tolong la.

It's nothing like drama swasta ok, it's more like pementasan opera cina yang terjerit terlolong macam polong tu you just want to sumbat mulut diorang dengan stokin ya ampunnnnnnnnnn

I think you guys lima orang ni should go to rumah semenyih la, kat tepi rumah tu ada longkang besar yang dalam kan, ha duk situ diam2, tergolek tercangkung mati kutu la kat situ korang2 je, best kan? Rasa macam taknak keluar2 lagi daripada situ kan? Ha bagus, tak payah.

Ewah ewah best nya kutuk org.

Ok la, tell je la, tak payah show show, nanti dosa, mana dosa mengumpat lagi, dosa mengaibkan lagi, tak boleh tak boleh. Tak boleh jadi.

uh-oh

Maharaja tgh mengamuk
Everybody lariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Selamatkan diriiiiiiiiiiiii
Nanti kena buang negeriiiiiii
Or matiiiiiiiii

drawbridge

Yesterday's big idea is turning out to be today's big impediment.
Dont worry, I won't feel obliged to follow it any longer.
I mean, you cannot try to solidify something that needs to remain fluid, right?
You must not.
I must not.
I don't need strategy, I have to be adaptable.

Buang masa betul ah.

they really do

I feed them.
I dust them off.
I talk to them.
They were 15 when I got them.
That was 3 months ago.
Now they are 45.
Centimetre.
Cepat betul tumbesaran,
tuan kau pon tak cepat mcm tu tahu tak.